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Joke of the Day

"""The house always wins,"" muttered Dorothy as she stared at the witch's crushed body."

"How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number and you've probably never heard of it."

"People are always impressed to find out that I got my PhD at 17 but anything is possible if you work hard enough and lie."

"A trip to Wal-Mart is all the proof I need that ugly isn't an effective means of birth control."

"Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair? Because if they dragged them by the ankles, they'd fill up with muck."

"The school counsellor told me that alcohol was never a solution. I said that my chemistry teacher would disagree."

"I'm gonna sell my vacuum cleaner. It's just collecting dust"

"In the 90's did the backstreet boys have a cafeteria? I mean a bacteria.Thank you ladies and germs."

"YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake"