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Joke of the Day

"How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer? Dos"

"I hear U.S military bases in the Middle East party hard. The soldiers there are always taking shots."

"What's the difference between a washing machine and a festie chick... A washing machine wont follow you around all summer after you popped a load in it."

"*night falls, the full moon rises* ME: go, please! i don't want you to see me...like...this HIM: omg what's happening ME: *asleep by 10 pm*"

"A pirate walks into a bar with a ships wheel down the front of his pants. The bartender says, ""Hey mate, what's with the wheel?"" The pirate responds, ""Arg, it's driving me nuts!"""

"Why can't a muslim have SexEd and Driver'sEd on the same day? Their camels need a break at some point."

"Nick Cave is not on Tinder because he's the Grindr man."

"Did you hear about the new sprinklers from Australia? They're Aussielating."

"What does Axl Rose do before he prays? Gets down on his SHA-NA-NA-NA-NA-KNEES!? KNEES!"

"""Siri, why am I single?"" Siri: opens front face camera"