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Joke of the Day

"It is divided in 2 parts - left & right. Unlike others your brain is a master piece, It is divided in 2 parts Left & Right. In left nothing is Right & in right nothing is Left!"

"[at dinner] Wife: This is terrible. Me: Horrible. Waiter: Hey folks, how's your food? (simultaneously) Wife: Amazing! Me: Fantastic!"

"I hate it when people compare Freddy Mercury to God. I mean God is great and all but he's no Freddy Mercury"

"Remember, it's not a real paleo diet unless you're eating mammoth every day."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... With my dick in it."

"An excaped convict fell out of a polishing machine and landed on a worker. He was struck by a smooth criminal."

"Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor."

"My doctor diagnosed me with incompetence and constipation... But I really don't give a shit"

"If ""you are what you eat"" Why is cannibalism considered to be inhuman?"

"It's so hot outside... I'm sweating like a poodle at Michael Vicks house."