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Joke of the Day

"While never officially canonized by a Pope, Saint Patrick is widely recognized as the patron saint of Slytherin."

"Why do geologists perform so well during intercourse? They really know how to make bedrock."

"Idea for a podcast: Friends hang out together and have deep and meaningful discussions and nobody records it and it's not a podcast."

"So my math teacher asked me to do an initial value problem... ...and I said, ""Y Naught?"""

"What's worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A baby stapled to ten trees."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? A guy in a wheelchair after a house fire."

"Zombies are a fun reminder that the first thing people want to do when they're dead and beyond the law is murder everyone in sight."

"You know that warm feeling you get when you look at your spouse? It's called acid reflux."

"There's a band called 1023mb They haven't had any gigs yet."

"I used to think math was useless. But then one day I realized that decimals had a point."