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Joke of the Day

"What type of vegetable is only kinda awesome? A radish"

"Today I learned that 48% of women in the U.S. are battered... and to think I've been eating mine plain for all these years."

"I'm no scientist, but I don't think it's possible for EVERYBODY to be kung fu fighting."

"Frog COD What happens when Frogs die playing Call of Duty? They respawn."

"Everything becomes 100 times louder when you're trying not to wake someone up."

"God: NOAH. Noah: Yes Lord? God: Where are the land sharks, flying spiders and the jumping snakes? Noah: Oh nooooo, did I forget those?"

"Yo mamma's so fat when she went on vacation, the locals correctly identified her as an American"

"They say an optimist will see a glass as half full, while a pessimist will see it as half empty. Speaking as an alcoholic it's panic stations either way for me."

"My two year-old has begun shouting ""The end!"" in a sing-song voice when he wants you to stop talking to him. Going to try this myself."

"I wonder if John McCain plays with plastic Army men and pretends he's President at home."