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Joke of the Day

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder The bartender says, ""Hey, that thing is cool - where did you get it?"" The parrot replies, ""Africa."""

"How do you know if somebody does crossfit? They are probably in better shape than you."

"My wife asked me, ""Where's your wedding ring?"" I said, ""I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."""

"I was always a home builder but lately I've developed an apartment complex."

"I love the smell of my F5 key... It's just so refreshing!"

"Great... This guy double parked his porsche, and now I've got paint all in my keys."

"train operator just yelled at someone to stop smoking and they said ""I'm vaping"" and the conductor said ""I don't care"" and everyone laughed"

"A classic from my grandfather. How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way. Unique up on it."

"A doctor and his patient **Doctor**: After the operation, you'll be a new man. **Patient**: Could you send the bill to the old man?"

"I just broke up with my girlfriend who had a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone on the side."