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Joke of the Day

"I was dating an analog synthesizer But I had to break it off. She was just continuously variable."

"What's the most disappointing country in the Middle East? Oman"

"What is the difference between a Jew and a Canoe? a canoe tips."

"God said unto John... ""John if you come fourth you shall receive eternal life!"" But John came fifth and won a toaster"

"How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, it's got to want to change first."

"I lost a few pounds today,... but when I lifted up my shirt I found them again."

"Hitler was the worst camp counselor ever."

"Why do Asian girls have small boobs? Because only A's are acceptable."

"A man goes to the doctors... and says ""I think I'm a moth"" The Doctor says, ""I think you need to see a psychiatrist about that"". The man says, ""Yeah I was on my way but I saw your light was on""."

"""I don't want a lot for Christmas."" Later... ""All I want for Christmas is you."" EXACTLY WHAT DOES THAT DO FOR MY SELF-CONFIDENCE, MARIAH."