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Joke of the Day

"My house got broken into the other night... The thief didn't take anything, he just left a note. All it said was 'get better stuff.'"

"Life is like a shower Fat people don't have very good ones"

"What does rare chicken meat taste like? Salmonella"

"Guy just asked me where a public phone was, I told him 1987."

"One I heard at a restaurant ""Am I the first girl you ever kissed?"" She whispered softly to her date. ""It's possible"" he admitted, ""Were you at Lake Geneva in 2004?"""

"A man calls his boss to call in sick... The boss asks him, ""How sick are you anyway?"" ""I fucked my sister! Is that sick enough for you?"""

"What's green and spiky and retrieves information at the click of a button? A web Bowser."

"Put the punchline before the setup. What's the best way to ruin any joke?"

"Me Chinese, me play joke, me put pee pee in your coke. Me Russian, Me got Krass, me put pee pee in your ass."

"I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign said ""Bread in captivity""."