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Joke of the Day
"What does the base-jumping gardener say? GERANIUM!"
Next Joke
"You're so fat, they oughta call your dick ""Gary Oldman"" ...Cause it always disappears into a roll."
"What's the difference between an archeologist and an ex girlfriend? The ancient stuff the archeologist digs up is useful."
"A scientific joke Q: Why are Curium, Helium, and Barium the medical elements? A: Because if you can't Curium or Helium them, you Barium!"
"Philippe Petit walked between the twin towers in 1974, big deal, I can do that today with no training. Just made that up, I hope it's not too soon."
"What percentage of police officers are strippers and what percentage of strippers are police officers? I'm confused."
"How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout ""Heroes in a half shell."" 3) When a girl yells back ""Turtle Power,"" marry her."
"I'm going to name my son After Me. So every time he asks to do something cool I say ""ya After Me."""
"BREAKING: Millions of young white girls scream themselves unconscious as the new iPhone color is revealed to be Pumpkin Spice Latte."
"what did the black boys dad do for him for christmas nothing, he had no presence"