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Joke of the Day

"Wife: Nothing you could say could convince me that cockroaches aren't the worst. Me: Wall-E's friend was a cockroach. Wife: Except that."

"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town Not a creature was Tweeting, cause favstar was down."

"Cargo pants are for when you want to wear khakis, but also want to be a backpack."

"A scottish man walks out of a bar..."

"Always ask your girlfriend if she is actually a transvestite before you start dating her. I learned it the hard way."

"I was at a hat shop and the sign read, ""ALL CAPS MUST GO!"" ...and I thought what hypocrites!"

"I went to a vegetarian restaurant I went to an all you can eat vegetarian restaurant the other day and there was this girl who said she knew me but I swear I never seen herbivore."

"What do you call someone who's got a horse for a mother and a fruit for a father? A Frenchman."

"Speaking of dogs... There's a dog with no hind legs, and bollocks made of steel. So, this dog is coming down the street. Do you know what is the name of the dog? . . . . Sparky!"

"Who is the biggest slut in the whole wide world? Mrs. pacman. For 25 cents that bitch would swallow balls til she died."