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Joke of the Day

"Rat and a Mouse Q:What's the difference between a mouse and a rat? A: 1 has a less likely chance of survival in the dog pound"

"want to feel old?? theres stil a infinite number of small wonders u've yet to experiemce in ur incredible life. so too bad. now u feel young"

"Star Wars Episode VII-XI Titles Revealed Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Waits Five More Minutes Star Wars Episode XI: The Force Is Late For Work"

"My doctor told me to refrain from heavy lifting. So now I can't masturbate."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell."

"How do you get holy water You boil the hell out of it"

"What is ISIS's favorite candy bar? Allahu Snackbar, it's flavor is explosive."

"(Macbeth and lady Macbeth) ""I killed King Duncan"" Macbeth wtf!! ""You told me to!!"" I didn't think you'd do it omg lmao savage"

"What happened when porky pig fell asleep at his construction job? The foreman fired him, saying, 'We can't have bored boars boring boards.'"

"Zencrafters.... Total enlightenment, in about an hour."