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Joke of the Day
"Show me a man who calls himself a vegan, ...and I'll show you a man who's trying to shag a vegan."
Next Joke
"New on NBC.... A buddy cop drama starring a mentally challenged detective and his Native American partner. They're gonna call it Tard and Feathered."
"Recently a fellow coin maker challenged me to beat his best work. (x-post /r/3amjokes) When I punched his daughter's face, he said ""That's not what I mint."" At least his daughter was impressed."
"My girlfriend's father called me a pedophile just because she's 22 and I'm 36. Completely ruined our 10-year anniversary."
"Why was the 40 degree angle so nice to the 50 degree angle? Because its very complementary!"
"Crabs are amazing collectivistic creatures; they only use pubic transportation."
"Tonight I'm having a party for people who struggle to reach an orgasm just lemme know if you can't come"
"Egypt. Palin. Walmart. Facebook. KE$HA. Bieber. Typos. Snow. Zombies. Superpowers. FFs. Your mom. Boom, I just won Twitter."
"How does Moses get his coffee? He buys it from Starbucks..."
"How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit"