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Joke of the Day
"Dad Joke: What did Miley Cyrus' dancing instructor tell her to do? Hometwerk"
Next Joke
"If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance."
"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Ten. One to change the lightbulb and nine to blog about how empowering it was."
"""We should see other people"" PIGEON: coo ""It's not u it's me"" - coo ""I'm breaking up w/ u"" - coo ""I'm sleeping w/ ur brother"" - not coo"
"""Here's your cup of Joe"" - Joe at the sperm bank"
"Hey Alaska wilderness show person who is about to freeze to death with no hope in sight, maybe just cuddle up with the crew filming you..."
"a few things i notice while on pain killers: i don't blink, unicorns talk too fast & i can remove my right leg at the hip."
"If only women knew that being happy with themselves is the most attractive quality they can ever offer."
"My wife is actually mad at me for being so excited to see her mother tonight.... The viewing is at 7pm."
"What's Hodor's favorite cereal? Raisin Bran"