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Joke of the Day

"a few things i notice while on pain killers: i don't blink, unicorns talk too fast & i can remove my right leg at the hip."

"How do you measure pain? In Hertz."

"Men should be like coffee: strong, hot and not letting you sleep for the whole night. However, most of them are like copy machines: suitable only for reproduction."

"Does your face hurt? Well it's killing me."

"Have you heard about Prince Oxygen? He is heir to the throne."

"a goddess makes a six second video da vine"

"With great power comes huge electricity bill"

"What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work? Suture self!"

"Breaking news: Messi won't be playing against Netherlands He is suffering from extreme abdominal pain caused uncontrollable laughter caused by watching Brazil vs Germany"

"Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad? Because it's soda pressing."