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Joke of the Day

"Why did George Lucas Cross The Road? To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80."

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"Cat puns freak meowt"

"We have a saying in Germany. It is better to have loved and lost than to engage in a land war with Russia in the winter."

"Step1) Buy 100 cans of tuna Step2) Drain the cans into a bucket Step3) Soak ur cloths in the tuna water Step4) Go outside & get all the cats"

"First Thatcher dies, then Ferguson retires... Somewhere there is a scouser with a lamp and one wish left. /english humour"

"Two cashews walk into a bar... The Bartender says ""How about a glass of our most expensive wine?"" The Cashews reply, ""Do you think we're Nuts?!"""

"ME: [screaming into the void] THE VOID: please untag me from this thread"

"My Wife and I made love today for the first time in weeks. (X-POST from r/shortscarystories) I put her back in the freezer afterwards."

"Mommy mommy I dont wanna see grandma! Mom: Shut up and keep digging."