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Joke of the Day

"I went to see Jurassic World because I heard there was a recently genetically modified dinosaur... I didn't see Caitlyn Jenner anywhere"

"Want a couple of pointers in life? 0x8130 and 0x8134"

"What's red and orange and looks great on hippies? Fire."

"Why doesn't the postal worker's wife have sex with him on his day off? Because mail men don't come on Sundays."

"My niece just yelled ""MY DINNER IS BETTER THAN YOUR DINNER"" so I looked over and she was eating doritos with a fork"

"Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!"

"Everyday, millions of plants are killed by vegetarians. Help stop the violence. Eat a steak."

"I don't see why people say, ""God, send me a sign"". Why not ask the Head of Amazon's shipping department?"

"I feel as though common sense should be referred to as the sense formerly known as common."

"When you rob an Ikea store they probably make you put all the money in the bag yourself."