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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the amputee that came in last on Jeopardy? He was stumped."

"What dog wears contact lenses ? A cock-eyed spaniel !"

"Everyone seems to like tinman from wizard of oz... But I can't stannum.>_>"

"If you like Christmas so much why don't you merry it?"

"What do you call old, expired Neosporin? Paleosporin"

"What's Bill Corby's favorite type of Jello? Grape. The ""G"" is silent. Just like his lovers. Edit: I can't edit the title, I suck at spelling -_- (and proofing)"

"You know you're an optimist... ...when your blood type is B+"

"Which is the most religious vegetable? The Pope-tato"

"Measure twice, cut five times, curse profusely, punch a wall, give up, call a professional."

"My dad thought it would be a good idea to show my girlfriend my baby photos. ""You haven't changed at all."" she laughed. ""That's enough of the naked ones, please."" I told him."