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Joke of the Day
"""Here, let me suck as much life from you as possible."" -jobs"
Next Joke
"I heard Iran is supposed to do well at the olympics this year They're the bomb"
"How do you sort out Ant and Dec? Squash one and deal with the other later."
"What is reddits least favorite dish? Kung Pao Chicken"
"On the one hand I feel bad that Jeniffer Lawrence privacy was invaded, but on the other hand ...well that hand is busy."
"50% of mariachi bands end in divorciachi."
"An Englishman starts his own business in Afganistan He is making land mines that look like prayer mats! He is doing quite well! Profits are going through the roof!"
"What did the doctor say to the patient who refused to stop masturbating? Don't make it hard for yourself."
"My computer is frozen. Unfortunately it looks like moving my mouse around in circles did absolutely nothing to fix the problem."
"I went to the doctor's and he asked me for a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample... So I handed him my underwear."