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Joke of the Day

"I've been using Vim for 5 years... Mainly because I don't know how to exit it"

"So buddy, how's life in North Korea? I can't complain."

"WANTED: Someone to have my babies and carry on my family name. No strings attached. You can even keep the kids."

"The bottle said to apply liberally So I bitched and complained the whole time I used it."

"No, YOU didn't tighten the cap on my urine sample"

"How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? One. One to change it and his girlfriend to give him a blowjob when he's done."

"What do you a call a PC without Garage Band? A Dell"

"Did you hear about the new protagonist in Mass effect 4? It's Commander Lamb. (From a friend of mine... Told it to me while we were in a party chat)"

"Damn girl, are you the Employee of the Month? 'Cause you sure do suck a lot of dick."

"Stupid people need a CPU upgrade, colorblind people need a GPU upgrade. Just thought of this a few minutes ago, thought you guys might like it."