218372

Joke of the Day

"You can't spell ""secret government conspiracies"" without that 27th letter of the alphabet that they're hiding from us"

"Jesus loves you. These are beautiful words to hear in a church, and absolutely horrifying ones to hear in a Mexican prison."

"Will you date me? breathe if yes, swim across the atlantic ocean while reciting the bible in japanese if no"

"Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Nobody can."

"I could've built a school in Africa with the amount of time I've spent uncapitalizing letters in texts to seem cool."

"How did realism get me banned from Facebook? I sided with cancer on the ""Kids VS Cancer"" page."

"What is 4,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start."

"What's the difference between pussy and parsley? People actually eat pussy.."

"How do you know if a woman uses a vibrator when pregnant The kid stutters"

"I'm making a Band! I started a band called 999 Megabytes...we haven't gotten a gig yet."