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Joke of the Day

"It's not a real twitter addiction until you look up from your phone and you've missed your exit by 37 states."

"Why do your in-laws become dangerous after a divorce? They become outlaws"

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won an Oscar? He was out standing in his field."

"What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook? ""I just booked a cook for cooking the books."""

"What's the Islamist term for acceptable internet humor? Ha-lol."

"[rookie undercover] *walks up to dealer* ""yo you a cop"" um no ""hmm ok what you want"" EIGHT COCAINES PLEASE *gives thumbs up to chief in car*"

"Why are alcoholics the same as necrophiliacs? When they feel like fucking death they crack open a cold one."

"A recurring number walks into a bar'"

"What did the Wealth of Nations say to the Communist Manifesto to cheer it up? Some day you will be red!"

"An American in France... An American in France limps into a doctor's office. The doctor runs over to the patient and asks, ""What happened!?"" The American responds, ""Ei ffel""."