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Joke of the Day

"I've been running around screaming at random people that I've lost my virginity. I'm starting to regret naming my dog that."

"I met a girl at a club last night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds."

"What does Stalin do on a night out? Paints the town red"

"What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler! ^^^... ^^^I ^^^know, ^^^I ^^^know, ^^^/r/dadjokes ^^^is ^^^thataway"

"a serial killer that strangles victims with fruit by foot and eats the murder weapon afterwards"

"I've had enough of this shit. I thought to myself as i sat on the toilet for 3 hours."

"Heard about the seafood diet? You see food and you eat it."

"I'm sponsoring this new group that teaches underprivileged children about basic math terms Upvote for divisibility"

"Why is a bra singular and panties plural?"

"Two guys walk into a bar.... You would think the first guy would've warned the other."