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Joke of the Day

"a serial killer that strangles victims with fruit by foot and eats the murder weapon afterwards"

"I'm eating for two That's why I look like I'm pregnant"

"What's the difference between a large chested lobster and a dirty bus stop? One's a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus station."

"I just installed a marijuana app It has kush notifications."

"A duck walks in to an alternative medicine practicioners office. Points a wing at him and says with a frown: ""Quack!"""

"What do you get when you push a piano out of the second floor window of an elementary school? A flat minor."

"Trump Jesus asked the Devil if he'd made a deal with Donald Trump. The Devil said they'd negotiated for a while but eventually he gave up and just let Trump buy him out."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit Will you get out of my hair!"

"Everytime I see my see my neighbors having sex in their hot tub, I think to myself ""I can't believe I'm recording this"""

"Putting a woman on a $10 makes sense . . . . . . no one really wants a 1 or a 5. (As heard on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me)"