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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like I like my women... With my dick in it."

"You seem to like blonde jokes around here. Here is my favorite: Why did the blonde have such a terribly bruised belly button? Her boyfriend was blond as well."

"I wanted to make a joke about a bridge but I thought I might need to build the suspense first"

"The most massive object of our entire supercluster Hey, you're like the Great Attractor Thanks man No I mean like you're the heaviest thing in the known universe"

"How many Orthodox Hasidic Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, ya mensch. It's Shabbat."

"My wife called me a ""panty dropper."" She said to be more careful with the laundry next time."

"Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures."

"Terrorists in Hawaii be like.. ..Aloha Akbar."

"Let's turn this Pizza Hut into a pizza home."

"What do you call a half Jew? Jew-ish."