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Joke of the Day

"I would like to go to Holland Wooden shoe"

"People say I shouldn't have bought so many books about the Nazis But I was only obeying Borders."

"Sharks are just dolphins who went to the military."

"Why's it taking so long to legalise gay marriage in the whole of the US? I mean, America had four fathers and it turned out alright"

"Do you know what a 9V battery and an asshole have in common? No matter how hard you try, you're eventually going to press your tongue to it."

"What do you call a German jerk? Deutschebag"

"THE DOCTOR WITH HIS PATIENT The doctor to the patient: You are very sick' The patient to the doctor: Can I get a second opinion?' The doctor again: Yes, you are very ugly too...'"

"I never mess with anyone in a Pontiac Aztek. I just don't want to be on the wrong end of another of their poor decisions."

"I think its my mom's birthday. I should unblock her on facebook and check."

"i was doing yard work today when i stopped to tell a pile of leaves how cold fusion works. needless to say they were blown away."