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Joke of the Day

"China has developed a liquid metal that can transform into any shape. While the U.S. has created a breakfast sandwich with Hash Browns now at Taco Bell."

"Harry Potter wakes up in hospital. ""Welcome back. You've been in a coma for 8 years"" says the doctor. ""What happened?"" asked Harry ""You ran face first into a wall."""

"I got fired today for arranging the vegetables in a sexually suggestive way Apparently that's ""unacceptable behavior for a special needs teacher""."

"[job interview] ""So why do you want to be a jeweler?"" ME(thinking about using that eye thing to appraise chicken nuggets): I love rubies"

"Which American state is not great, but not bad either? OK."

"What do you call a blind asian man A blind asian man you racist shit"

"I don't want to make a political joke It might get elected as president of the United States"

"Coworker: How are you doing this morning? Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you?"

"My wife has the body of a woman half her age. I suppose I should call the police."

"Is it okay to not like a certain race? My friends want me to run a 10k with them, but I want to run a 5k."