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Joke of the Day

"I don't want to make a political joke It might get elected as president of the United States"

"""Doctor I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."" ""Next time take off the candles."""

"Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool? Don't believe me? Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!"

"Sexism Hurts Everyone I mean, I'm a sexist, and I can't get a girlfriend, so who the fuck is going to do my laundry?"

"Time is what keeps things from happening all at once. "

"the bible is an attempt to mansplain our existence"

"How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof? Tell him drinks are on the house."

"Hawaiians were never known to be cannibals. Maybe a nibble here and there... You know, finger food."

"Hitler was not very athletic. He never finished a race."

"What does a clock do when it gets hungry? It goes back four seconds."