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Joke of the Day

"If there isn't a fireworks company whose slogan is ""our business is booming,"" that seems like a real missed opportunity."

"The blond girl and the car What did the blond girl say when she saw the car? Answer: That's the lost one right there."

"What is green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it falls out of a tree A pool table"

"Optimus Prime: so it's settled. I'll be a huge cool truck, Bumblebee you're a camaro. Any questions? [Dan the station wagon raises his hand]"

"Why don't nervous vegans visit Germany? They fear the wurst!"

"How did Helen Keller discover masturbation? Trying to read her own lips."

"Oh honey, you're not pretty enough to be that stupid"

"I went into a convenience store today... I asked the shop keeper if they sell stationery there. He replied no, they're allowed to move around."

"Welcome to Applebee's! Can I take your order or do you need a few minutes to reflect on the mistakes you made in life that led you here?"

"Two people sitting in a park. They see 2 women, kissing, and whatsoever. Guy 1: I really like that, should we go up to them? Guy 2: Uh, lets be honest..."