217993

Joke of the Day

"A Jewish father and son are in their living room The son approaches his dad and asks ""Dad can I borrow $20?"" The Dad replies: ""Ten dollars? Son, why do you need five dollars?"""

Next Joke
 
"I came up with a movie idea. A man's daughter is abducted. This man has has a unique set of skills and goes on a revenge rampage. But the idea was taken."
"I swallowed my wrist watch by accident yesterday, Harry. Good heavens! Does it hurt? Only when I wind it."
"I hate hipsters Their vegan diets, whiskery faces, tiny feet, and sawdust bedding. Oh wait, hamsters, I hate hamsters"
"Men, if you're looking to spoil your lady this christmas, make sure there's WIFI in the kitchen, chicks love WIFI in the kitchen."
"girls love us tall guys but as soon as we use our height to ""constantly slam dunk on them and their loved ones"" they stop replying to texts"
"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. Edit: lol it flaired accurately"
"I used to be a narcissist But now look at me"
"I just want to thank you for explaining that Geico ad to me. It means a great deal."
"Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."