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Joke of the Day

"This girl I'm currently seeing is very flexible, just what I like. She comes round every Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday."

"Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk? My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill."

"What time does the funny stuff start around here? I can come back..."

"How do you quiet a gay baby? Stick a pacifier up its ass"

"What do you call a car that eats other cars? A carnivore."

"I feel like landlords who don't allow dogs but DO allow children don't know very much about children."

"What's the Wifi password in a mosque? AllahIsTheOne2345"

"Police: ""How high are you?"" Me: ""No officer. It's Hi, how are you?"""

"It's cute how they show subtitles during Here Comes Honey Boo Boo & pretend that anyone watching might actually know how to read."

"I made a new drink out of isopropyl, lead paint, and cat urine. I call it a ""You Tube Comment""."