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Joke of the Day
"I think I just caught the Zika virus... I met a Brazilian girl and she gave me a little head."
Next Joke
"I like my sentences like I like my women: awkward but with good colon usage and regular periods."
"I have the perfect body of a 21 year old female... It's in a freezer in my basement"
"Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it? Elf-raising flour of course."
"I was scraping a window at my Grandma's house.... I then thought up a joke for my mom to hear it was ""This window scraping stuff is a pane in the glass!"" She laughed :)"
"friend: let's meet up soon me: *in the crow's nest of a ship docking outside your house* when though"
"Next season on Game of Thrones they're actually going to come to your house and start killing the people watching."
"At my high school reunion while everyone was bragging I said,""I'm finally allowed in public without an armed chaperone."""
"What do you call Batman if he leaves church? Christian bail."
"New acronym we need: IDOCHBEI ""I'm doing okay considering how bad everything is."" Pronounced: ""ih-DOCK-bay"""