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Joke of the Day

"Hootenanny is just one of those stupid made up words, like 'ambition' and 'productivity'."

"Damn girl, did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like your face hit the ground first."

"A screwdriver walks into a bar... The bartender sees it and shouts out, ""Hey! We have a drink named after you!"" The screwdriver gets excited and says, ""You have a drink named Larry?"""

"Can I get a pina colada please. 'This is Starbucks' Sorry, can I have venti pina colada."

"In order to catch herpes, u have to think like a herpes"

"Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine? The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!"

"What did the Australian chess player say to the waiter when he finished his meal? Check, mate."

"How good are Tesco's meatballs? They're the dog's bollocks!"

"Pokemon Go down south. I've never been happier to live in the Bible Belt."

"Why did the Scarecrow get a promotion? ... because he was outstanding in his field!"