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Joke of the Day

"What the difference between What's the difference between a chick pea and lentil? I've never paid to have a lentil on me!"

"What is the hardest thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it. I'm going to hell.."

"Autocorrect just changed my kissy face emoji to ""stop it you're 37"" then powered down my phone."

"I'm actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me."

"I still don't understand why my boss didn't like my idea of playing musical chairs at our next Monday meeting. He asked us for new ideas."

"My brother got his will tattooed on his dick.... ....but it didn't stand up in court"

"What did the exponential equation say to the linear equation? Real graphs have curves."

"My son cuddled up to my bump and was talking about how he could see the baby and it would have been cute if I were pregnant."

"Couch: $300 TV: $1000 Chips: $3. The look on your face when you don't have electricity: Priceless"

"What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider? A harenet."