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Joke of the Day

"I'm actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me."

"[Travels back in time] Me: Abe, what do you think America looks like in the future? Lincoln: United as one nation... Me: Wrong! FATTER."

"(My 99 y/o Jewish grandma told me this joke tonight and I have never heard it before) - ""Why was Abraham Lincoln Jewish?"" Because he was shot in the temple."

"Its terrible how so few black people get nominated for an Oscar It's so sad they're not as talented as white people."

"Before I get out of an elevator, I hug every single person in there with me and whisper in their ear ""You've taught me so much."""

"What do paedophiles and tortoises have in common? They both want to get there before the hair"

"Where does a Mexican store his food? Hispantry"

"Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer? It had freed up one GB of space."

"Girl asks a guy... How big he thinks her boobs are, he replies, ""looks like im gonna have to do an inbreastigation!"""

"Cure for AIDS Doctor : Eat lots of raw peppers, and spicy food. Patient : How will that cure my AIDS? Doctor: It won't, but now you know what your asshole is for."