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Joke of the Day

"what is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? beer nuts are at least a dollar fifty, and deer nuts are just under a buck."

"What's the best way to get a Punjab in India? Hire a cunning linguist."

"What did the rest of Europe say to the UK during the heat wave? ""UK m8?"""

"There was no Mrs. Noah & the ark was lonely, thus explaining the evolutionary mishaps you'll find at Walmart."

"What's the capital of Canada? Tim Hortons."

"I wanted some Lipo D energy drink, so I asked Gary Johnson if knew where I could find some. He asked me back... What's a lipo?"

"A scientist and a philosopher..."

"This census and Tax stuff is crap. I want to live in a country that doesn't assign homework."

"The man who invented Twister died this week. Fitting him into the coffin took 27 spins."

"How does a Reaver clean his spear? He puts it in the Wash."