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Joke of the Day

"What's the capital of Canada? Tim Hortons."

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped his ass."

"Barber: What would you like today? Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!"

"Why haven't they installed a mirror on cars that only covers your blind spot?"

"""Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor""- John joyfully sings as he walks off with the 'Caution: wet floor' sign"

"Old Finnish Saying Do you know what's wrong with a Russian ass buzzer? It doesn't fit in your ass and it doesn't buzz."

"Golfer: ""Well I have never played this badly before! Caddy: ""I didn't realize you had played before sir."""

"*holding my crying child* Me: I know, earthquakes are scary. So maybe next time you'll be good and I won't have to make that happen again."

"Why did the ram run off the cliff? He didn't see the ewe turn."

"What does the narcissistic cow say? Moooo! Cuz it's a cow"