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Joke of the Day

"I wanted some Lipo D energy drink, so I asked Gary Johnson if knew where I could find some. He asked me back... What's a lipo?"

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary... I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it."

"Two television sets got married. The wedding was boring, but the reception was beautiful."

"I've given up on cooking. It always starts off well. Then it just turns to shit."

"BNAG! That's bang out of order."

"When people use the wrong homonyms it irritates me I know the pane, I've been their before."

"I live next door to a family of Anorexic Agoraphobics I bet they have some skeletons in the closet."

"What do you call a little Mexican? A paragraph. Because he's not quite an essay."

"I like my coffee how I like my women Forgotten about in the kitchen"

"Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on stage? They give meaty performances - especially if they are in their prime!"