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Joke of the Day

"ME: There's no i in team but there is one in pizza WIFE: so you're not going to share ME: I am not going to share"

"Have you heard the joke about the deaf guy? He hasn't."

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later"

"What's stronger, fifty watts of sound or fifty watts of light? I don't care but would you please stop screaming, turning the lights on and off."

"I'm 39 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night."

"I find whiteboards to be absolutely fascinating. They're remarkable."

"Me: Better late than never! Wife: ... M: Seeing red? W: ... M: Go with the flow! W: ... M: I'll go buy tampons. W: NOW, MISTER FUNNY MAN."

"I make a mean sandwich. The key is to use racist cheese."

"What's a star trek fans favourite drink? Picardi and Kirk"

"Teacher and John Teacher: John. Give me a sentence beginning with ""I"". Paul: I is the... Teacher: No, John . You must say ""I am"" not ""I is."" John: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."