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Joke of the Day

"I make a mean sandwich. The key is to use racist cheese."

"JOB REQUIREMENTS: Must have a college degree. Must have 5 years experience. Must have volunteered as tribute and won the 74th Hunger Games."

"There is no ""me"" in team. No, wait, yes there is!"

"Removing make-up or as I like to say, Resetting face to factory settings."

"Did you hear about the scarf that Eva Braun knitted for Hitler? He said it was kampfy and that he reiched it a lot, but that it could have used fuhrer stitches."

"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One or two? ....One? ...or two?"

"Rihanna, what did you mean the wind gave you this black eye? No, I said it was Breezy."

"A guy is fucking his wife up the ass when the house catches fire. Why does his wife make it outside first? Her shit is packed."

"Have you heard the joke about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw?"

"Guy comes home with a flower bouquet... ""Guess I'll have to spread my legs now"", says the wife. ""Why? Don't you have a vase?"" the husband replies."