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Joke of the Day
"How about first you show me your benefits and THEN I'll let you know if we can be friends."
Next Joke
"What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex? Honey, I'm home!"
"""You're getting an MFA in English? Wasn't your Bachelor's useless enough for you?"" -second degree burn"
"What kind of bees give milk? Boo-bees."
"You hear what happened to the frog's car? It got toad."
"What did one snowman say to the other? I think I smell carrots!"
"I used to accidentally hold hands with strangers I mistook for my dad. It's slightly weirder now that I'm in my 20s and doing it on purpose."
"Peeing is Foursquare for dogs."
"What is the difference between a dead baby and an orange? [NSFW] I don't fuck an orange after i peel its skin off"
"Britain will be just fine... you always lose a few Pounds after a breakup."