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Joke of the Day

"Last night a burglar broke into my house but I quickly popped open a bag of potato chips & hid in all that free space."

"I got fired from my job as a jihadist. They told me to blow up a bus, and I burnt my lips on the exaust pipe."

"Is this sub Reddit dead? There have barely been any decent posts all year!"

"Wife: He's always lying about his celebrity connections.. Therapist: Is this true? Me: Just wait til Sonic The Hedgehog hears this bullshit."

"Last week, Puerto Rico's Governor said that they couldn't pay their debt. From now on, the Island will be known as Puerto Pobre."

"I have to be honest, before the Winter Olympics I just thought Canada was a place Michael Moore made up."

"The kids of today have no respect. They're rude, lazy and swear to make themselves look big and coolnnNothing at all like us..."

"What is worse than 7 babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to 7 trees:)"

"I wanted to fold the toilet paper and use it again... but felt that it was too tainted"

"All conspiracy theories are false. They're cooked up by the government to distract people from what they're doing."