119113

Joke of the Day

"Wife: He's always lying about his celebrity connections.. Therapist: Is this true? Me: Just wait til Sonic The Hedgehog hears this bullshit."

"I was gonna make a joke about Sodium and Hydrogen but NaH"

"Back in LA who wants to make plans & cancel them & talk about rescheduling but never do then just like each other's FB post to keep it cool"

"What did the shirt say to the pants zipper? Your so fly man"

"Why did the White Man go to the Moon? He wanted more land. -Heard this from a native friend of mine. I laughed my ass off."

"Why did Mickey Mouse leave Minnie Mouse? She was fuckin' Goofy."

"4 lawyers died in a car crash. Oops, sorry, wasn't supposed to put the punchline in the title."

"Old people smell weird because They are surrounded by hundreds upon thousands of skin cells that have fallen off of their bodies over the years. Dead... Like all of their friends..."

"Bad Day Q- How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day? A- She has a tampon behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil."

"I know Madonna, on a first name basis."