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Joke of the Day

"I got fired from my job as a jihadist. They told me to blow up a bus, and I burnt my lips on the exaust pipe."

"What do you call an Asian lobster? A crustasian"

"Me: why did you stop me? Cop: for starters you're not wearing a seatbelt. Me: what about main course? Cop: step out of the car."

"If I could go back in time & change any event that would alter the course of history: I probably wouldn't have super sized that fry order."

"Why was the killer's watch arrested? Because it was proven to be accessory to murder."

"What do you call a cross between a donkey and an onion? A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye"

"I wanted to get rid of my body hair through laser hair removal But it grew on me"

"Do the stupid crap you're going to do soon cause in a few weeks, when forced to explain, you can end by saying, ""but that was last year."""

"What's the difference between Snow White and the Brazil soccer team? Snow White had the excuse of being asleep when she let seven in."

"The barman says 'I'm sorry we don't serve time travelers.' A time traveler walks into a bar..."