83903

Joke of the Day

"Does money shrink when you wash it? No, but it does when you launder it!"

"I saw a woman in the supermarket pick up her kids by the hair Certainly raised a few eyebrows"

"I usually spend my Sundays texting apologies but I've had an alcohol free weekend now I have nothing to do."

"If I were Amish, I'd have to convert to Pmish cause I'm not a morning person."

"There's a giant exploding ball of fire in sky every day, and we're just supposed to be cool with it? Hell no, I'm not into that at all."

"[NSFW] Offensive as Fuck What's big and blue and has 300 nipples? The dumpster outside the breast cancer clinic."

"The waiter hands me a bowl of alphabet soup ""Compliments of the chef"" The soup reads ""you're beautiful"""

"4007 What is the most unethical thing you can legally buy? Nestle products"

"Your loud tweeting woke me up. Someone must have typed in all caps."

"Always heard this on the playground growing up... Pete and Repeat were in a boat, but Pete fell out. Who was left?..."