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Joke of the Day

"*gets down to snails level* IF YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TO THEN I CAN HELP YOU GET THERE FASTER."

"That awkward moment when u lock binoculars with your neighbor."

"Every atom in your body is born in a star, traveled millions of light years, & through an amazing process became you. & you watch Teen Mom."

"What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter? envelope"

"They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. This is my 56th time posting this joke."

"What do you call a blind deer? No Idea. (Hopefully you will get it, repeat twice if you have to) Edit: In case you don't get it, its No Eye Deer. [No Idea]"

"What is the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter? With Twitter you only get 140 characters."

"guess who's still together after all these years and all the shit between them! Your butt cheeks."

"When your boss asks you ""do I look stupid to you?"" it's a rhetorical question I know this now"

"Scanned a customer in the eyes with a barcode reader for being rude to me.... ...should have seen the look on his face, it was priceless"