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Joke of the Day

"I'm not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure."

"Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors? You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah."

"A friend of mine asked if you could catch AIDS from a toilet seat. I said, only if you sit down before the other guy gets up."

"A redneck sees another carrying a sheep under each arm. So he asks him, ""you shearing?"" The other answers ""nope, gonna fuck 'em both m'self."""

"""got you by the balls""... classic reference to the type of situation where someone is holding your balls and you can't jump around too much."

"How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Poker face."

"What kind of jean's do Mario prefer? Denim Denim Denim."

"Everything is always funnier once you are not allowed to laugh."

"And the Lord said to John, 'Come forth, and you will receive eternal life' But John came fifth, and won a toaster."

"It's been a while since I partied... Yeah, I can't even remember the last time I blacked out."