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Joke of the Day

"What kind of jean's do Mario prefer? Denim Denim Denim."

"Him: You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you darlin? Me: HOW DARE Y... Wait, did you just call me darlin"

"Sad Dick A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"I moustache you a question but I'm shavin' it for later Sean Connery."

"I've been running as fast as I can, but I still can't catch my breath."

"Kim Kardashian getting 6 million dollars stolen is a lot like if I got the condom that's been in my wallet since I was 12 stolen... Am I gonna miss it? Yeah. Was I gonna use it? No."

"I quit the mafia to become a housekeeper Now I'm a maid man."

"Q: Why did Mitt Romney feed his cows money? A: He wanted rich milk."

"How does an optometrist make love? Better like this ... or better like this?"

"Do you want to hear an Ebola joke? Just refresh the page,it's probably posted again."