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Joke of the Day

"You don't hear much from our Vice President.... Obama zipped him up and he's a-biden. Edit: typo. For you, grammar nazis."

"I'm gonna make a good dad one day... Lady Friend: ""I'm in Times Squares!"" Me: ""Did you just text me an incomplete math problem?"" Lady Friend: ""You can barely do algebra..."""

"Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Woman? You have to drop the bomb twice."

"Owls The worst thing about owls is the way that they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave."

"Did you hear about the man who was born without any ears? Niether did he."

"What do you call ratting out the President's daughter for smoking weed? High treason."

"A Jewish kid asks his dad for money He asks his dad for 10 dollars. His dad replies, ""8 dollars? What do you need 5 dollars for?"""

"I once met a guy who had a law fetish. He got off on a technicality."

"Goat joke(my 1st please go easy on me) Q: What do call a gay goat. A: A Fagoat"

"The ex wife once told me her greatest fantasy was kneeling in front of me while I spurted all over her. She never mentioned it was my blood."