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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna make a good dad one day... Lady Friend: ""I'm in Times Squares!"" Me: ""Did you just text me an incomplete math problem?"" Lady Friend: ""You can barely do algebra..."""

"I had coffee with Red Bull this morning... After about 10 minutes on the highway, I realized I left my car at home."

"What do you call a fat guy, from New Orleans, that never tells the truth? A jambo-laya. Thanks for coming out, I'll be here till Thursday."

"A cat walked in to a cobblers.. ..SHOE!"

"How many Jews does it take to fix an oven? Hitler stopped trying at 6 million."

"Why don't Chinese people roll 12lb balls down wooden lanes to knock over pins? Because to them it's boring."

"Pussy is like visa It's accepted almost everywhere"

"""What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?"" ""Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak."""

"""Owen, you must hide this baby, at all costs, from Anakin Skywalker."" ""Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?"" ""Seems fine."""

"i'm undressing you with my ey... oh god, no no no i'm redressing you."