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Joke of the Day

"When my roommate won't wash the dishes I always leave a note'hey please do the dishes, because I will wash one knife & use it in your sleep'"

"Apparently Rihanna and Christ Brown are releasing a song together. Given the recent passing of Michael Jackson, I think a cover of ""Beat It"" was an insensitive choice."

"How do dogs like to have sex? RUFF!"

"optimists: the glass is half full. pessimists: the glass is half empty feminists: the glass is being raped"

"I wouldn't say I never exercise... Occasionally, my nose runs."

"What do you get when you cross a bungee cord with an owl?? My ass."

"So you're in bed... So you're in bed with a hot girl to the right side of you and a gay man to the left of you. Who would you turn to face? be careful with whom you chose"

"Some say I'm condescending It means I talk down to people."

"How to spot the toughest guy in jail? He still has some whistle left in his fart."

"What do you call a relationship that never works out between guitarists? No strings attached"